Giving Back

I just had the most rewarding experience happen to me, and its all thanks to Alpha Chi. Thank goodness Kylie woke me up this morning to help with A-Day, because I needed this so much. Alpha Chi has a booth out on the quad today, and I had to run back to the house and grab something because we forgot a banner.  I was walking past this girl, who kept look at me, but I didnt really thing anything of it.  

I passed her, but I heard an excuse me, and I turned around.  

Now lets just pause here for a second.  

If you know me, you know I dont usually respond to anything or anyone who isnt right in front of me, yelling at me, thats just my attention span.  But this time, I stopped and turned around.  

The girl started out by asking me if I was an Alpha Chi, and I said yes.  She then said "Thank you so much for what you guys did on April 8th, it really means a lot." (April 8th was AlphaTraz, where we raised money by putting people in our jail, raising money for domestic violence victims.   It took me completely off guard.  I then thanked her for even saying anything, and that it meant a lot.  She then said thank you, and I just looked at her, and said, you are welcome.  It completely humbled me, and almost made me cry.  First of all, this girl had the guts to stop and tell me thank you, which in and of itself is amazing.  But to know that what we did people actually noticed also made me so proud. It made me proud of my sisters, proud of my organization, and proud to wear the letters that I wear today.  It also reinforced that giving back always gives back to you, in some way or another, no matter what happens.    

Most of what I hear or see is people judging greeks. People saying that all we do is party, drink, and haze.  They dont see that we raise money for domestic violence victims, or that the fraternities hold dance parties to raise money for their various philanthropies, or that we were all at walk-a-mile, or relay for life. 

For all those people, Im so sorry that you feel that way.  Im so sorry that you will never feel the way I feel, or be proud of something so great.  Yes, we are elite. Because of the things we do, say, and learn.  

I am proud of Alpha Chi Omega.  Im proud that I picked such a fantastic organization to be a part of.  

And just keep in mind, all that it took was for one person to stop me and tell me two little words, for me to stop and think about how amazing AXO really is. 

:) Im off my soapbox now. but this week of hell ended fantastic, and Im so happy and ready for a fantastic weekend with some great people :)

I. Love. Being. Greek. 

Learning

I feel like the past month has been a learning experience for me. I have struggled so much with fitting in, and feeling like I have to be a certain person that I definitely am not.  My confidence has completely gone out the window, and I have been hurting because I feel like I am constantly never good enough.

I guess Im sick of trying to please people.  Thinking Im overweight, or a terrible friend, or that I cant do something.  

Sure, Im not the skinniest girl in the world. but who cares? If I want to change that bad enough I could.

So what if I don't have a boyfriend?  I am a complete person without a boyfriend.  I love myself to know that the right person will come along when I am well ready.  He will make an effort, and love me for exactly who I am, no matter what. 

I dont want anyone in my life that doesnt want me to be in theirs.  If you dont like me, thats fine.  I can find someone who cares about me more.

Im done not being good enough.  Im done being someone who has no self confidence, and who hooks up with boys just to make herself feel better.  I am only giving myself to those who deserve me, with friendships, relationships, anything. 

Im living this life for God, and he will lead me where ever he wants me, and for now, that is right here, flying solo, being exactly who I am, and going where ever He tells me to go. 

Loving life, so much.  and its only going to get better, just you wait and see:)

spring break 2011

after having every single plan I had fall through....I ended up staying in Logan for spring break.
First...I wanted to go to Cali. that failed.
then I was supposed to go to Vegas for the WAC...that failed.
Then I was going to go to Vegas again, also failed...yet again. (currently still trying to go actually, but I doubt that will happen)
But honestly, I dont know if I would trade anything for the spring break I had. Even though I didnt go on a cruise, or to Cancun, or to California, or even to Nevada I have still had so much fun, and its only a little over half over!
Cruising,
running around my sorority house because there is absolutely no one here...(which I love, no girls to clean up after, the kitchen is clean for once!)
Riding my horse
hot tubbing
staying up until the crack of dawn with my sisters and friends, just because.
Getting 2 hours of sleep for two nights straight, and the next day not being able to even stand up for long periods of time. (true story)
going to the Justin Bieber movie.
Laughing until I cant anymore.
I guess this spring break has taught me that you dont need all the bells and whistles in life to have fun.  You actually dont even need hardly anything.  Just your friends. :)

We are all a little weird 

and life's a little weird, 

and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, 

we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love ♥

Those silly little things.

Life is full of decisions. 

big ones,

little ones,

almost too many decisions. 

but I guess what I just really realized today was that

all those little things that I dont think that will matter later,

they probably will.

 Because I feel like little things turn into big things, and then those big things have a huge impact on my life

for example.

The choice to be happy.  for some it may be hard, and for some it may be easy.  but I feel like its such a minor detail to some people.

but any decision you make has to do with being happy. 

getting married

getting a job

deciding a major

but yet when you ask people what they have their focus on, its their job, or their home life, or something else.  

but I feel like no one is worried about being happy.

Its such a basis for everything. 

every. single. thing. 

If you decide to go into a certain profession, its because it will hopefully make you happy...right? 

But i guess my point is that people find it so hard to be happy when there is so much to be happy about!

Do you have a home?

Do you have people that love you?

Do you have food to eat today?

Do you have clean water to drink?

Are you alive?

So much to be happy and thankful for, yet for some reason half of the population is suffering from chronic depression and anxiety. 

And Im not saying Im not a victim of this, because I was depressed most of last semester.  

I guess its just a lesson i have to remind myself of every single day:

No one can choose when Im happy or when Im not. 

I need to be thankful for what I have, not whine about what I dont. 
I need to love those around me.  You never know how hard of a day someone has had.

I have to stop focusing on things that dont matter.  I feel like im making a continuous circle, once I think Im finally out of my rut and I fall right back into it again.  I see the past and all my mistakes as a flaw, rather than a learning experience.
God is watching out for me. I know that. and I will be happy because I choose to be, and I will make decisions that make me happy, and not be so concerned about what other people think.
Today, tomorrow, forever.
Im choosing to be happy :) come what may.

These days.

Just sitting here in my room, thinking. about everything. 
I have learned over the past 3 years to not trust anyone, because everyone I trusted has ended up stabbing me in the back. 
But as I was talking to one of my sisters in my room just now, and as she walked out she was like, "okay, Im going to go to my room. I love you!"  And I know this is not the first time one of my sisters has said that, but it really made me realize how special my sisters are, and how much they mean to me.  I was telling someone the other day, "I dont know how people have fun if they arent Greek, I mean, what do you do on the weekends with your roommates? or how do you meet people" and of course I know if you arent greek you still have fun, but I honestly dont even understand how someone wouldnt want to go greek.  By joining, you instantly have an awesome group of people there that love you.  Not only do I adore being in Alpha Chi Omega, its pretty much my entire life.  I live it, eat it, and breathe it.  It has been such a huge learning experience, and it has changed me for the better. It has challenged me to be a good leader, to be an example, and has given me the confidence to be who I am no matter what.
Alright, now that I have ranted about how much I love my sorority, its time for bed :)

  And if this post is a little random, I apologize, but its just my thoughts, yet again.

live by this.

Health: 

1.       Drink plenty of water. 
2.       Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar. 
3.       Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.. 
4.       Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy 
5.       Make time to pray and read the Bible every day
6.       Play more games 
7.       Read more books than you did in 2010 . 
8.       Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day 
9.       Sleep for 7 hours. 
10.     Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile. 

Personality: 

11.    Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 
12.    Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in positive things, where you can make a difference. 
13.    Don't over do. Know your limits. 
14.    Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does!
15.    Don't waste your precious energy on gossip. 
16.    Dream more while you are awake 
17.    Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.. 
18.    Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness. 
19.    Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others. 
20.    Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present. 
21.    No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 
22.    Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.  Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. 
23.    Smile and laugh more. 
24.    You don't have to win every argument. It’s ok if you agree to disagree... 

Society: 

25.    Call your family often. 
26.    Each day give something good to others. 
27.    Forgive everyone for everything. 
28.    Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of  6. 
29.    Try to make at least three people smile each day. 
30.    What other people think of you is none of your business. 
31.    Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. 

Life: 

32.    Do the right thing! 
33.    Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 
34.    GOD provides healing for everything, in His time.
35.    However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36.    No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 
37.    The best is yet to come. 
38.    When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it. 
39.    Happy people live longer. So, be happy.