Saturday, July 30, 2011

Its definitely almost August.

Well, as I said above, its almost AUGUST.

And I havent blogged since May. Thats really unacceptable, and if you are reading this Im sorry its been so long!
In that time...
I have turned 20 years old. 
Ridden on a plane for the first time. 
Gone to California with my favorite Alpha Chis.
Worked my ASS off. (Cal Ranch will be the death of me)
Driven a Jetski for the first time.
Laughed so hard Ive cried with my roommates and sisters.
Cried myself to sleep slash bawled my eyes out in front of people (which never happens)
Ridden my horse many times :) 
Met new people, and found a new place that I think I belong.
Dealt with more drama that I ever wanted to, and broke friendships off that would never heal.
Healed many friendships that I am very glad I did.
Made a few bad decisions.
Made a few good decisions as well.
Missed my home so much it hurt, which I thought would never happen, because I hated Star Valley for so long, but all I have wanted this summer was the cool nights and the sound of irrigation sprinklers as I fall asleep...(Constant traffic is really not the same)

and oh have I done alot of thinking this summer. 

I had a really bad attitude about working for a really long time.  I hated(well...lets be real, still do hate) working at my job.  I love the people I work with, but constantly saying the same thing to people all day and standing there waiting to run things under a scanner isnt really my idea of fun.  I had to finally realize that I dont work because its fun, I work because I need the money...which really didnt make me feel any better either.  But really...what would I be doing if I didnt work?  Sitting at home, sleeping, being BROKE, and being bored out of my mind.  So the way I look at it, might as well get paid to be bored than sit at home and be bored right?  I get good hours, and most of the people I work with I love, so it all works out in the end I suppose. 
I have also been to so many weddings this summer I cant even handle it, not to even mention the amount of wedding invites that I got lately.  Geez. Its fantastic people are getting married, but really, do you have to make me feel like a loser?  Still very single, and no worries, it will probably stay that way for a long while, but still. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I am not married, or that I dont have a boyfriend.  So....heres my take on that.  After I took a step back to look at it, first of all...I have zero time for a boyfriend.  When would I spend time with him? By the time I do what I need to do for the day, Im ready to sleep.  Between Alpha Chi, Thomas, my jobs, and everything else, it really wouldnt even be fair to a boy(if he was to come along) to keep him waiting on me all the time.  Im completely okay with being this busy though, because I would rather focus on school and stuff anyways.  Alright. done with that rant.  

This summer has been a constant struggle with me to stay positive.  Although I know I can be a very negative person, I have noticed that and tried to turn it around.  I may not be very good at doing that yet, but hopefully if you give me enough time I will get better. 
I cannot WAIT to move back into AXO to be with all of my friends again.  I cant wait for school to start so I have classes in my new major, and I cant wait for Alpha Chi to start back up again so I have some structure in my life. 
This post may seem way scattered, but there will be more to come hopefully soon, I need to blog more. For now, this is all you get, my scrabbled mess of words here for you to read.  :)