Those silly little things.

Life is full of decisions. 

big ones,

little ones,

almost too many decisions. 

but I guess what I just really realized today was that

all those little things that I dont think that will matter later,

they probably will.

 Because I feel like little things turn into big things, and then those big things have a huge impact on my life

for example.

The choice to be happy.  for some it may be hard, and for some it may be easy.  but I feel like its such a minor detail to some people.

but any decision you make has to do with being happy. 

getting married

getting a job

deciding a major

but yet when you ask people what they have their focus on, its their job, or their home life, or something else.  

but I feel like no one is worried about being happy.

Its such a basis for everything. 

every. single. thing. 

If you decide to go into a certain profession, its because it will hopefully make you happy...right? 

But i guess my point is that people find it so hard to be happy when there is so much to be happy about!

Do you have a home?

Do you have people that love you?

Do you have food to eat today?

Do you have clean water to drink?

Are you alive?

So much to be happy and thankful for, yet for some reason half of the population is suffering from chronic depression and anxiety. 

And Im not saying Im not a victim of this, because I was depressed most of last semester.  

I guess its just a lesson i have to remind myself of every single day:

No one can choose when Im happy or when Im not. 

I need to be thankful for what I have, not whine about what I dont. 
I need to love those around me.  You never know how hard of a day someone has had.

I have to stop focusing on things that dont matter.  I feel like im making a continuous circle, once I think Im finally out of my rut and I fall right back into it again.  I see the past and all my mistakes as a flaw, rather than a learning experience.
God is watching out for me. I know that. and I will be happy because I choose to be, and I will make decisions that make me happy, and not be so concerned about what other people think.
Today, tomorrow, forever.
Im choosing to be happy :) come what may.