Goodbye 2010.

So...Here we go. Goodbye to another year, hello to a new one.  

Heres the last blog post Im sending out for 2010

read it, and love it or hate it!

Honestly, if I look back on it, 2010 was a complete blur.  

I laughed so hard I cried,

and cried until I couldnt anymore.

Went back to where I was born and realized I missed it so much there it hurt.

I had the best summer of my life, and met some of the best friends I could ever have.

and realized that I really need to changed some things in my life.

But just like the rest of my life, it was crazy, beautiful, and a learning experience.

I have alot of plans for the next year.  One of my best friends comes home next december, and I couldnt be happier.  I never realized how awful it was to lose someone who I considered a great friend for two years. 

 but I know I cant say that I didnt have a fantastic year, because I did. The people that surround me, the things that I have, there was so much to love.  2010 was tough, but it really taught me a lot. 

Lets make a toast

see ya next year!

xoxoxox

Chelsea Rae

its a picture kind of day.

its just one of those moments where pictures just describe how I feel.

Ill update later. :) love love love.

Forever. :)

Home is where you are,
Kind of tragic that I left your side.
Left your side, left your side.
I recall a smile, a kiss.
When the sun did rise,
By your side, I was by your side.
I gotta tell you how it feels now.

You’re my air, when I feel I can’t breathe.
Catching me, when I’m tripping over my feet.
We’ll get through this together.
You’re my smile, when I just want to cry.
Make it all better as you kiss my sad eyes.
I’m giving you my forever and ever.

Forever and ever.
Forever and ever.

The hug, the kiss, the love.
All the magic that we’re feeling inside,
Deep inside, deep inside.
It’s hard to find the words,
The courage is somewhere inside,
Deep inside, deep inside.
Gotta tell you how it feels now,
I’m ready to fall.

You’re my air, when I feel I can’t breathe.
Catching me, when I’m tripping over my feet.
We’ll get through this together.
You’re my smile, when I just want to cry.
Make it all better as you kiss my sad eyes.
I’m giving you my forever and ever.

Forever and ever.
Forever and ever.

Sat down thought about it today,
If I only had a breath what would I want to say?
Something sweet, something real, something real sweet.
Thought real hard.
And only one thing,
Oh only one thing, came to me.

You’re my air, when I feel I can’t breathe.
Catching me, when I’m tripping over my feet.
We’ll get through this together.
You’re my smile, when I just want to cry.
Make it all better as you kiss my sad eyes.
I’m giving you my forever.

You’re my air, when I feel I can’t breathe.
Catching me, when I’m tripping over my feet.
We’ll get through this together.
You’re my smile, when I just want to cry.
Make it all better as you kiss my sad eyes.
I’m giving you my forever and ever.

Merry Christmas!

Today: I will count not the presents under the tree, but all the blessings God has given me.


Yet another year has come and gone, and yet I still feel like I should still be 5 years old, running down the stairs to see all the presents santa has left for me.  But even though my roles have switched a little bit, and I am the one giving the gifts to the 5 year old, this I think has been one of the best Christmases(...not really sure how to spell that. you know what I mean) yet.  I really just felt the true feeling of giving this year, seeing Beka open her presents and giving my parents gifts this year just felt so great. So christmas was great, and life is good. :) 


Im missing my Alpha Chi sisters so much, but I love being with my family.  its always bittersweet going home because living with my sisters has become a second home, but I will see them again soon!


This story has to do with christmas...sortof. and God's plans.  So, just read it, and love it like I did :)


Trees That Wood
Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."
Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."
After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down.
When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.
Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

Just another day.

Twitter has become my new favorite thing. I follow not only my friends, but I follow "The Daily Love" and "The Single Woman" which is just full of inspirational quotes and such. Anyways, I dont really know where I was going with that but I just love it, its my new favorite thing to do when I have nothing else to do! It inspires me daily to be a better person and gives me confidence to go throughout my day.

The Daily Love:

Today is the Winter Solstice & Lunar Eclipse... Great day to let go of anything that doesn't serve your greatest happiness!

SURROUND yourself with ppl who have your BEST INTEREST in mind. Life is too short to put up with fools.

"I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday." - Gary Chapman

You can't live a life of your dreams if you don't take action. Your dreams live outside your comfort zone.

Just some great quotes to get you through the day. Ill blog more later, Im trying to do too many things at once :)

Something Ive Realized.

Ive been doing something lately that I would like to call "detoxing" my life.
Something that I have never done before, but Im loving it so far. I started with going through my clothes and closet (which still isnt done by the way) and throwing out all of the things I never wear. Honestly, I do laundry once a week and half of my clothes or more than half are still in my closet when I say "I have NOTHING to wear" but really, I do. Anyways. So thats the first thing. Second thing, I went and bought fruit, and healthy stuff to eat so I am not constantly eating junk. Because believe me, thats what I do best.
But that is only the beginning.
I am more than unhappy with my grades this semester. I felt like I tried so hard, and I ended up with the worst grades I have ever had. I studied for hours on end for astronomy, and I got nothing back from it. I dont know what I want to do with my life, so I hated going to all of my classes. I didnt listen, but honestly, I dont even know what I was doing. Facebook, sure. But I really dont even know what I was doing there.
I am not happy.
This semester is one big blur. I dont really even remember what I even learned in my classes now, I have purged everything. So essentially I have paid 2,000 for nothing, or terrible grades and an awful semester. whichever you prefer. The only thing I will never forget--Harrison Klieners class. He was the best professor ever. He was one who did inspire me, and I think that is why I am "detoxing." I have the rest of my life to be out of college. work, and whatever. I am going to live it up as much as I can. Im going to remember what I did, and take classes I want to take. There will be classes I dont like, but that means Im one step closer to the major/job that I want. I want to read good books, and "party" all night long. I want look back on this time and remember what I learned and have pictures of memories that will last a life time. From now on, there is no hurry. I just want to have the time of my life, before I grow up and get too old to do those things :)

I woke up today and realized that I havent been happy for a really long time. Ive built up walls around myself so no one, not even my friends could come in. I had a chance to fall in love, and I turn it away. Ive been jumping from guy to guy for months. They dont want a relationship, well that is completely okay because I cant let anyone inside my walls because im afraid they will hurt me like I have been hurt before. Im scared to love because being vulnerable is something I cant handle anymore. Being told Im pretty or nice or smart is something I just dismiss and I tell myself they are saying because they are nice. I dont have any self confidence anymore, and I hate everything about the way I look. "Ill be happy if..." has been running through my head constantly--
if I lose ten pounds
If i get a boyfriend
if I go shopping for new clothes
If I have designer jeans
If I have the right hairstyle
if i have the perfect makeup

no more. Im doing what I love, and loving what I do, come what may.
My walls may not be coming down just yet, but I sure as hell wont be as hesitant to pull them down. If I don't an opportunity to pass me by to fall in love, or find another best friend.
Next semester my goal is a 4.0. I can do it. I know I can. Watch me. I will do everything to the best of my ability, and even if I dont quite make it to a 4.0, I will still do better than I did this semester right?
Anyways. This may just be me ranting on about whatever. But thats what a blog is for right? Riley Jo is to thank for the picture, I read her blog today and it was just another eye opener about what I should be doing with my life. Instead of just going through the motions. I only have one life, and one time to make it count. This is me throwing my passion into everything I do. Right. Now.

My year in pictures :) 2010

So many great memories :) goodbye 2010!

Semester 3

The semester of hell. DONE! Tomorrow I take my last final at 9:30 (which should be easy) and then I am done with this awful semester. Its been the hardest semester yet, and Im so glad to see it go. I have been waiting for this exact time to come since about September. YAY! :)
AXO has been the highlight of my semester, with the newly initiated 24 girls, two of which were some of my best friends before they joined. Im so happy for them! We also have a new exec board, with me as your VP Fraternity Relations :) I will be handling all of the buisness with the Alumnae and Chapter Consultants. Im so excited to be on exec, I think that being on it will better my leadership skills and strengthen my love for the already wonderful organization I am in. I also hold the position of Member at Large, so I will make decisions about recruitment and such for the chapter. the next few upcoming semesters will be busy, but fun! Im stoaked.
The USU equestrian team is just about the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love it so much and riding horses is something I have always enjoyed doing, which makes it so much better! I hope to continue riding for the team and helping the team do well at meets. I love all of my teammates so much and they are so great to me :) Although I have to raise 550 dollars to be on the team I hope to do that plus more, I just love it!!!! :)
I am taking career and life planning next semester, so hopefully I get my life figured out from there...:) I have been struggling the past couple of semesters, but its only progress progress progress from here. Life is great, and God is taking care of me.
Sorry that I have been so awful at updating this, I have been so busy twitter and FB is all I can keep up with :)
Love you all!

Update update update.

First horse show!
This is a picture of me at my first USU equestrian team horse show. It was so fun! I ended up placing 4th in the second show and 6th in the third, which is good considering it was my first show where I just hopped on a horse that i didnt even know. it was so scary, drawing horses that you didnt even know and getting on without even warming up before the show. It was rough, but I made it through! I cannot wait for the next one, it should be just as good of a time I hope! I love everyone on the team so much, we all had so much fun and I get along with pretty much everyone.

AXO and HOMECOMING WEEK!
This week is a busy/fun-filled week. Homecoming is this week, which means street painting, parades, football, and dances. AXO is also having one of our biggest philanthropy events, Dollar Days. We sell a ton of stuff on the TSC patio for a dollar to help raise money for a domesic violence victim scholarship. Its crazy to think a year ago I was just a new member, and now Ive been initiated for almost a year!!!!! I love every second of it though. Well..off to study for yet another test :) The madness never ends!

So many new things.

So...basically I havent blogged for like, 3 months. Ive been so busy, I cant even handle it. between moving, school starting, AXO stuff, along with so much more, I cant even begin to fill everyone in.
I tried out for the USU equestrian team about a month ago and MADE IT! :) I love everyone on the team and going to practices every week...it gives me a little bit of a getaway from the regular routine. Our first show is this weekend, we will see how this goes.
Im loving AXO and all the new members. 62 of us!!! Crazyness. Chapter retreat was so much fun, and im sure the rest of the semester is just going to get better.


Im out for now. but I will try and blog more often!

Forgive me for liking you too much, I’ll forgive you for not liking me enough. Forgive me for the loud racing of my heart, I’ll forgive you for not hearing it. Forgive me for finding you amazing, I’ll forgive you for never noticing. Forgive me for wanting to be with you more than anything, I’ll forgive you for avoiding me. Forgive me for being so pathetic, I’ll forgive you for taking advantage of it. Forgive me for not being able to let go, I’ll forgive you for never holding on.

thats all I have to say for now....I am just confused today.

shit.

....those were the last words that came out of my mouth. literally....well. okay. story time.

Went out to the barn to ride, just like any other day. saddled up my oh so dear horse....and took him out to the arena. Kaitlin Pittman and the girl I nanny, Madison, were with me and Kaitlin was riding Madison's horse, Tigger, and I was riding my horse Thomas. I get on, and this is where it all goes wrong. Mistake A: I didnt lunge him. He had already been out today, and he acted like he was about to fall asleep when we went out there. Mistake B: I wore my hair down. I never wear my hair down when I ride....ever. anyways. to cut this boring story short.......Thomas freaked out because the other horses in the pasture scared him and he tucked his head and started bucking. Like, bucking bronc bucking. I stayed on for a good 30 seconds......then fell...right on my shoulder. Could have been worse I suppose, but it still hurt like hell. Current situation is: Im sitting in Kirsten's house because....well because Im awesome like that. I cant move my left arm, and Thomas is tied in his stall, hopefully thinking about the naughty deeds he did. Stupid horse. Thats all. I will be going to the doctor tomorrow....hopefully I dont die before then :)

--Me.

You know, I dont know what the future may hold, but I know as long as I have good friends to surround me, family to support me, and enough money to get by...I dont really care. Living my life to be happy is all Im doing right now, and I absolutely love it. Im getting good grades for me, Im getting up and getting dressed and ready for me, Im being me, and no one else. I finally feel like I am who I am supposed to be, and I adore it.
Life lately seems like it has been spiraling out of control, and I have just been stuck in this endless twister of confusion....who Im supposed to be, where Im supposed to be, why am I even where I am. All the possibilities, the choices Ive had to make, they have seemed to overwhelm me. Finally, that twister has slowed down, I feel like Im back on my feet again. These choices seem easier to make, and life seems like its so much easier all of a sudden.
Ive been in and out of love, liked so many people, and spent endless tears on guys who werent worth my time. Im over it. I have wonderful guy friends who are better to me than any boyfriend Ive ever had. I dont need a man to make me happy, and when Im ready for one, God will put him into my life, and make this wonderful journey better than it already is. Too many times Ive seen friends, roommates, and people I dont even know cry over boys, and I dont need that in my life.
Jobs, money, it all seems so distant to me. Im doing what I wanna do, and thats all I care about. I also know that God will get me a job, in due time. It may be difficult, but I will keep trying and He will give me the right opportunity, in due time. :)
Life is good. God is taking care of me. I am happy. <3

What? Its already May????

Well.

Its may.

Where the heck did second semester go? ...better yet, where did my first year of college go?

I had the most amazing year of my life. I made some of the best friends anyone could ever have, I'm so lucky. I came to college so scared that I would not fit in. I have discovered a lot about myself and a lot about who the person I want to become. College is nothing like what I expected it to be, it was a lot harder, and A LOT more fun. Some of the many things I've learned:

1. Dance parties are acceptable anywhere.

2. A double room in the LLC can be arranged many different ways.

3. Going to bed at midnight is exceptionally early.

4. You find out who your friends are, the real ones stay and the ones who weren't meant to be fade away.

5. You don't need people in your life who aren't going to support you, there are billions of people in this world.

6. It is one thing to think it, completely different to act on it.

7. Boxed brownies are amazing, anytime.

8. You can pick two of the three: socialize, sleep, or study. You cant have all three.

9. You acquire the most random stuff over the year. Stuff you just cant throw away because of the memories that come with it.

10. There's no place like home. :]

11. Marketplace food is good for about a month. After that, its just gross.

12. 8:30 am is wayyyy too early for a class.

13. Late night taco bell runs are THE BEST

14. Laundry can wait as long as possible, either till you run out of underwear or you go home for the weekend.

15. Facebook is the worst/best way to procrastinate. EVER.

16. You find some person on facebook you dont even know, and you have 10 mutual friends.

17. Walmart adventures are the best.

18. Going on adventures consists of going to Idaho to buy lotto tickets, or pulling pranks.

19. Kissing random people on a concrete block is normal, its called becoming a True Aggie.

20. Your very first date in college gives you a VL card when he kisses you. An actual card.

20 things is not even enough, I have learned so much :]

Like I said before, I have met the most amazing people ever this year.

Can I just tell you, that I have never had to share a roo

m in my life. I was so scared that I would hate having a roommate, or that they would hate me. My roomies(All 8 of them), are the most amazing girls ever, I was so lucky. A diverse group of girls, but we meshed so well. I know I can be hard to live with sometimes, but they put up with me pretty well. Between dishes, and dirty bathrooms, to dance parties, and crazy adventures at 6 a.m., they have been the most amazing girls to live with. Can I please just say how lucky I am again? :] I just love them, so much.

Jac.(Piderman)

My actual roomie, ohhh boy. Where do I begin? The cutest girl ever. Every boy that sees her falls in love with her. Also, she is the only girl I have ever met that can pull off red/purple hair, and look even better than amazing...I didnt actually meet her this year though, it wasn't exactly fate that brought us together. HSI 2007....oh boy. The UW 3 week long summer camp that

was probably one of the most fun summers ever. I didn't really know her at the time, but I remember her doing my hair...just like she did all this year....:)

Pillow talk--our late night talks (which i usually fell asleep to) and watching baman piderman videos, listening to her talk in her sleep, and her becoming my little, she is in so many parts of my life sometimes it can be a bit scary. We share way too much, clothes, most boys we have ever been involved with...haha. She is such a big inspiration to me(getting up at 6 a.m. to work out is something I could never do.) and living with her has taught me so much :)

Katie.

Oh Katie. She knows how to have fun :) Even though I didnt know her super well until this last semester, she has to be one of the most fun, gorgeous girls I have ever met. She gets all the boys. She makes me laugh all the time, and those crazy nights I will never forget always include her. I think its the saddest for me to say goodbye to her because she's going to be so far away.

Alycia.

This girl has been there for me when I've needed i

t the most. She was there to listen to me anytime. Sitting on her bed talking to her while she was doing her hair or fixing her makeup is one thing I will never forget, we talked about anything and everything. She is also one of the most fun and random person I've ever met. It makes me sad to know she isnt coming back next year, but I know that she is going to have so much fun being married to the love of her life :)

Jennika.

I could go on all day about this girl. Gorgeous, smart, funny....:) She has the confidence I wish I had. She just makes me smile, all the time, no matter what Im doing. She has been so fun to live with, there is never a dull moment with Jen around. I just love her so much!!!!!

Caitlin.

Now if you wanna talk about fate....haha. but really. We were in connections together and she just happened to be in one of my classes and started eating lunch with me, jen, and alycia every day after this class. We also rushed together :) She is an amazing person, organized, gorgeous, and so many other things. I was so happy when she moved in with us at the beginning of second semester! It seems like she has been our roomie all along!

Eunji.

I didnt know her that well, but she was an awesome roommate! She had the cutest clothes and was always so nice. All of us used to see her and squint our eyes and pop our foot up and make a peace sign, it was great fun.

Krista.

This woman, i swear never slept. She does so much stuff, and is so successful. although she wasnt around much and I didnt get to spend near enough

time with her, the time I spent was so much fun. She has accomplished so much and will accomplish so much more in the future...shes just amazing!

Im going to miss these girls so much. Each and every one of them. They were so amazing, that even what I wrote about each of them isnt enough. They have been the ones that made my freshman year so great. I love you guys.

My AXO sisters have also been another reason I have made it through my freshman year, without having them to run to sometimes I would have gone crazy. I cannot name you all in my blog...it would take too long. but I love you all so much and I'm so excited to live with you next year! I love my A Chi O :]

oh.

Sam, Kurt, Ian, Mike, Steve, Thomas, Spencer, Jake, Tyler, and Chris...(AKA boys down the hall)

Thanks for just being awesome. :] you guys were the best guy friends a girl could have, love you all, no matter how well I knew all of you individually. You always knew how to make me laugh or make me feel better when I was feeling down!!!!!

Second Semester

Happy 2010!!!
I have now started my second semester at USU, and Im loving every minute of it.
I love almost all of my classes. Stats 1040 might kick my butt, but Im hoping it isnt too terrible.
We had one of our roommates move out this semester, so Caitlin, one of my good friends from connections moved in with Eunji, one of our roommates from last semester. I love having her here. :)
I love being an active Alpha Chi Omega. :) its the best. We just did recruitment last week for spring semester, and it was crazy, that whole week was so busy.

Me and my roommate Jac bought at $12 couch at the DI and put our beds into bunk beds. Our room is pretty much the best room in the LLC right now. haha.
I will be posting pictures soon, stay tuned!!! haha.

OH!
and if anyone ever wants to send me anything, even a card...my address is:

Chelsea Bergstrom
0199 Old Main Hill
LLC Building D301
Logan, UT 84322

I would appreciate any mail you are willing to send thanks. :)